2 things

Tonight was the first time I've been to this blog in nearly a year, and I've learned 2 things while here:

1: I want to get back to writing here.

2: When I used to write here, I wrote way too much per entry.

I'm gonna try and fix both of those in the near future. So if anybody happens to read this, stay tuned...

Just in time

Almost didn't make it...that was close.

I almost let an entire year go by without a post.

That is just sad.

Will have to try and get back to this.

Stay tuned...

Mickey D's

okay. So it's been too long? Um...not sure why that came out as a question. Apparently my fingers aren't warmed up at this ypting thing anymore...typing. thing...anymore. wow.

So here's a little something raond...seriously!? I just can't type at all today!

Take 3:

Something raon...danr it all.

Take 4:

I'm not going to try to say "something random" again this time. I promise.

So here's a little something...(I need a thesaurus now).

Every now and then, people will see me staring blankly out into space and they'll ask me what I'm thinking about. Usually  I'll instantly forget when that happens because my mind tends to drift about like a cliched metaphor floating on the ocean, and so I won't really know what to respond with. But every now and then those random thoughts leave a mark in my memory, so I thought I'd share one with you.

This one popped into my mind yesterday while I was driving to lunch, I think:

It's a good thing Walt Disney didn't give Mickey Mouse his own last name. "Mickey Disney." Aside from the fact that it doesn't have the same ring to it as "Mickey Mouse," think of the legal battles that would have one day been waged between Disney and McDonalds, whom many Americans have come to know as the abbreviated "Mickey D's."

Two of America's great loves, clashed against one another over a name.

Of course, this would only have really mattered 20 years ago or so, when McDonald's wasn't quite as known for being the harbinger of unhealthiness. Nowadays, they'd likely lose to the mouse hands down. But image it, back in 1983, the trial of the century. Mickey D. vs. Mickey D's. The kids at heart vs. the Fry Kids. Who knows who might have won.

Writing out your punctuations[period]

Time for a pet peeve [exclamation point]

Have you ever seen someone post their e[hyphen]mail address with the little punctuations in it written out between brackets [question mark] Here[apostrophe]s mine as an example [colon]

seth [dot] helpap [at] gmail [dot] com

I mean [comma] I suppose it can be helpful for those of us who have been living in a cave for the last decade and didn[apostrophe]t know that in internet termology [comma] the period is pronounced [comma] [begin quote] dot [period][end quote]

But really [comma] do we honestly need to phonetically write out the punctuations of e[hyphen]mail addresses [question mark] Maybe it[apostrophe]s just me [comma] but having to actually read what could be [comma] should be [comma] and so easily is already understood [open parentheses] or we assume most people would understand it [close parentheses] is a bit of an annoyance to have to read [period] Not to mention [comma] suppose someone out there has never typed in an e[hyphen]mail address before and doesn[apostrophe]t realize that [begin quote] dot [end quote] is really supposed to be a period [comma] and [begin quote] at [end quote] is really supposed to be this squiggle thingy [colon][begin quote] @ [end quote][period]

So there[apostrophe]s my two cents on the subject [period] If you[apostrophe]re going to type out your e[hyphen]mail address [comma] just type it as you normally would [comma] especially for the sake of those of us who like to just copy and paste the address when needed instead of typing it out ourselves [period]

Thanks [exclamation point]

Where I've been

I haven't updated in a while. And there's a reason. I think in my last entry I wrote that I haven't written lately because I just hadn't found the right time. And I guess that's sort of true, if by "right time" I am implying that my life has to be going well and I have to be feeling good and happy and all. Because these last few months, I haven't felt that great or happy, and I haven't felt much like writing.

Have you ever had one of those moments of sudden realization, where you just look back and think, "How did I not see that coming?" I had a moment like that a few weeks ago, after about a month of really struggling with a lot of things that, to be honest, hadn't really been much of a bother to me in years. I found myself in bad moods far more often than usual, I felt almost no desire to talk to my roommates about anything in my life below just the surface of "work was good," and lies I thought were long gone from my mind were suddenly flooding back into my consciousness, screaming with all their might to deafen my ears to God's truth. And I couldn't figure out why my life seemed to suck all of a sudden. Nothing had really changed in my circumstances, I wasn't depressed to be where I was and still am, life was just going on as usual.

And then I remembered: I want change in my life. This blog began out of a desire to see change come into my life. I desired to see God bring me to new places, new heights, to take me deeper in my relationship with Him and see fears I've struggled with for years disappear in the light of God's truth.

So it should come as no surprise that I found myself being bombarded with attacks meant to keep me fixed right where I've been for so long, living in fear of judgment, lacking confidence in myself.

A few years ago, I saw this poster at my church that said something like this: "When you decide to get serious about God, Satan decides to get serious about you." And more than once in my life I've seen this truth in action. If you don't bother much with pursuing the life God has for you, Satan knows he doesn't need to bother too much with you, because you aren't much of a danger to him. But when you decide to go after all that God has to offer, you become dangerous. You become a threat to the devil's plans. And he takes that very seriously.

It kind of amuses me that I found myself so caught off guard. I wonder how I didn't see it coming, why I didn't think back at the beginning of this, "I'm striving for more of what God has for me, so I better start praying and watching out now, because chances are I'm gonna be under attack." I wanted to change for the better, to become more of the man God has created me to be, so it doesn't surprise me at all now to realize that, yeah, Satan would probably want to do everything he could to try and keep me from moving in that direction. Because a guy who refuses to speak to most people, who's afraid to share his faith with others, who won't pray out loud, won't speak truth into the lives of others, who thinks it's easier just getting by than actually trying to take a risk, who'd rather go unnoticed, is no threat to the works of the enemy. And that's who I've been most of my life. But that's not who I want to be. I want to be different. I want to be me. I want to be the man God created me to be. And I know it's none of those things I just listed up there. I'm not meant to be quiet. I'm not meant to hide my faith. I'm not meant to be afraid to pray and encourage and speak truth into others. And the world, whether all of it or just a little, needs to know I'm here.

I know I'm meant to change, but it's been such a struggle, and these last few months I've more often than not found myself feeling stuck. I've found myself trapped in lies I thought I had stopped listening to so long ago, struggling with temptations and discouraging thoughts I thought I had grown beyond. And I don't really feel better yet. Some days are good, some days aren't. Some days I feel such joy and passion in life, and others, I find myself avoiding the very friends I need to talk with most, friends God has given me to teach me, to encourage me, to help me and pray for me and walk with me. It has been a time of daring to dream, then writing off those dreams as mere wastes of time. It's been a time of indecision, of wanting one thing, and then another, then back to the first, then neither. A time of weakness, and a time of overcoming. A time of faithfulness, and a time of stumbling. A time of hope, and a time of hopelessness. And it feels like just when I think I've overcome one lie, one temptation, one doubt, a stronger one enters the picture and the hope crashes once more. Or just when I feel like I've got no choice, that the decision has been made up and this pathetic excuse called contentment is all I can hope for, suddenly there is hope in my heart, and I find myself climbing out of the pit of despair into a light I didn't know was so close all along.

So that's where I've been lately, and where I still am. I hope to write more often. There have been so many things I've wanted to write about, but it's just been difficult finding the motivation. But hopefully I'll keep writing, because I really do love to.

New Blog!

Awesome news! My friend, Chrisha, and I have begun a new blog together! And it's not just your typical blog, it's an on-going story blog. We're coauthoring a story, and you can head on over to the site and read along as we write it one entry at a time!

I'd give you a description of the story, but as we're kind of making it up as we go, there's not a lot to tell yet. But it's off to a good start, full of mystery and intrigue, a car named Clyde, and a mischievous Hershey's Chocolate Sause bottle...

And the story is called, "The Wayward Wily Whistler Was."

As for my own blog here, I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been meaning to, and I've got a number of entries I'd love to write, but I just haven't found the right time to write lately. But I hope to very soon, so keep checking back!

Inexplicable fun on a Saturday night

Four mid-twenties single men should not have this much fun in this way on a Saturday night...

It began around 5pm or so as my roommate, Justin, decided he could wait no longer to finally eat at a Chick-fil-a. For those of you who have not been blessed with the opportunity to live near one, Chick-fil-a is what many would argue to be the best fast food restaurant chain in existence. Home of the chicken sandwich, with delicious waffle fries and chicken nuggets that you can actually believe came off a real chicken, Chick-fil-a is to the south what Ale-8 is to Kentucky...which, I've just realized, is an even more obscure jewel of the food industry, so I apologize for the bad analogy (to give you a bit of perspective, if you've never tried Ale-8, you haven't really lived; it's that good). Chick-fil-a is a fast food chain in the southern states, with a few obscurely random western locations blessing us out here on the So Cal coast. There is one about a mile from where I work in Orange County, which makes everyone I know rather jealous, because the nearest one to where we live is about 15 miles away. Down a busy highway. Which is a bit of a drive to make for a chicken sandwich, no matter how delicious.

Justin has been longing to make the drive for months, and tonight he finally decided the time was right; he would wait no longer for his precious chicken dinner, so he convinced the rest of us here in the apartment to make an evening out of it. After a bit of convincing (especially for me, the one who can enjoy it any day of the week), we piled into his car and headed south.

And the traffic sucked. But we cared not, for Greg kept us entertained, first with live tv on his Verizon cell phone, then with the GPS lady on his phone trying to direct us to the restaurant while we refused to follow her directions:

"Turn left in 300 feet"

U-turn!

"Recalculating route..."

After a bit of debating whether or not the restaurant was located in the mall the GPS had led us to, and after a little circling of the parking lot, leaving the parking lot, and immediately re-entering the parking lot, we headed inside, found the fabled destination in the food court, and partook of its delectable quick cuisine.

And now I'm gonna stop with the silly wordings like "partook."

It was great. A little taste of our college years (3 of the 4 of us went to school in Kentucky, where we were spoiled on both Chick-fil-a and Ale-8). And we somehow wound up with an extra serving of waffle fries, which just made the trip that much more worth it.

Afterwards, each of us nice and full of greasy chicken goodness, we decided to walk around the mall a bit. And that was when the fun began...

As we got off the escalator onto the second floor on our way down, Justin spotted the Yankee Candle Co. store nearby and suggested we stop in. Seeing as we all appreciate having a few good scented candles around the apartment, and the ones we bought last were nearly spent, we figured we might as well. And so we headed over to the store, walked on in, and proceeded to spend the next half hour there.

Candle stores really are amazing. They smell like what you can only wish your home smelled like all the time. And even with so many varieties of scents, the smell that hits your nose as you walk in never fails to entice you to open a few jars and test the candles out. Vanilla Lime, Mid Summer's Night, Mango Peach Salsa, so many to sample. And with it being mid-November, there were the Christmas scents as well: Red Apple Wreath, Home for the Holidays (which, yes, is in fact a scent, not a vacation), and our personal favorite discovery: Christmas Cookies, which had our mouths watering the moment we popped open the lid.

Down the shelves we slowly moved, trying each new candle along the way. Some were good, some were not, some were strong, some were weak. There were a few nostalgic scents that brought back childhood memories, and other candles that amazed us with their accuracy, such as Clean Cotton, which smelled exactly like a freshly washed load of cotton laundry just as you're pulling it from the dryer. And to top it all off, there were those few incredible scents which just screamed at us, "You want me to go with you on your honeymoon!"

The store had a nice deal going on their Christmas candles--buy one, get the second half off--so we decided on the Christmas Cookies scent, and some cinnamon one which I can't remember the name of and I'm too lazy to go downstairs and read it off the label. And with the purchase came a nice coupon which we could redeem on-line if we wanted to receive $10 off our next purchase.

But there was one thing that had grabbed my attention and wouldn't let me walk away: the rows and rows of little candles, which were on sale: twelve for $18. Over 40 scents to choose from. You could go home with a little taste of so many good candles (yes, taste; I'm getting tired of the word "scent"). So I turned to my roommates and said I would buy us the dozen little ones to put in our bathrooms and asked for their suggestions. Then to go with them, I bought a few glass holders so the wax from them wouldn't run all over our countertops. But wait, there's more! we discovered. The guy working the counter showed us these decorative metal candle jar toppers which would allow us to burn the larger candles we'd bought more evenly so that we wouldn't waste the wax nearest the sides of the jar. They even had one on display near the cash register, so we could see that they actually worked. It was quite the debate which top we would buy. We each had our favorites, but it came down to two that we were torn over. So Greg put them behind his back, then I moved them around so not even he could know which hand held which, and Justin and Jake played rock-paper-scissors to see who would choose which hand. I was happy to see the one I considered the better of the two get picked :)

And as we're setting my new dozen little candles on the counter next to our new handy candle accessory, we finally think to ask the guy which scents he likes the best. And wouldn't you know it, he points out a Black Cherry scent that we had all somehow overlooked. He described it as being so potently strong and good, a moose could enter your house, relieve itself on your couch, and this candle would still be all you could smell. So we all headed over to it to see if he was right, and boy was he. One whiff of it and I capped the jar and took it up to the counter to add it to my spoils. And since I was now buying a jar candle myself, I decided to toss in my own favorite jar candle metal topper thingy (I'm pretty sure that's what they were really called), which, unlike our other one, was not so Christmas specific in its design and would be better for year round usage.

It took a little while to ring up my selection of candles, as I'd gone for twelve different little ones, but it was okay because while he rang them up, Greg was busy on his phone, using the internet to enter in that coupon Justin had received so that we could get $10 off my purchase without having to go all the way home just to use a computer. It took a little while, as the signal inside the store wasn't very strong, but in the end, he received his coupon code, the guy entered it in, an I saved $10!

And loaded up with two wonderfully smelling bags, and with the longest receipt I've ever received from a store tucked away in my pocket, we headed out of the store smiling and laughing at how much fun we four guys had just had in a candle store on a Saturday night.

Then, to reclaim a bit of our masculinity, we went directly to the store that specialized in medieval swords and perused the weaponry for a while before heading home.